This is something I have been thinking a lot about recently. What if I actually said what was on my mind? What if I didn’t hesitate to be completely honest, even if I know it wasn’t exactly the answer they wanted to hear? What if I had said this, instead of that? What if? What if? What if?
It can drive a person crazy. And it is. Most notably me.
I think I’m afraid that people I like will have no reason to talk to me if I give them an answer they don’t want; they won’t want to stick around. Honestly though, if that’s the case, I probably shouldn’t want to talk to them anyways. Instead though, I try and say what I want to too nicely and they completely miss the point, or I become a passive-aggressive monster and nothing good becomes of it. The realization here? Either way you lose.
In the end, I think it’s important to remember sometimes you only get one chance. And if that’s all you’ve got, it’s best to say exactly what you want and need to say; it should not depend on anyone else. This does not mean you have to be mean or rude. It’s just pointing out that you should be able to say everything (i.e. there’s no reason to hold yourself back), that way you have no regrets or qualms about anything. If you’re being one hundred percent yourself, all outcomes are good. You can live and let go if need be without ever having to wonder about the what ifs on your end. You can at least have peace, which is not nothing.
Active participation. Remember that.